As I sit and listen to their life stories, it truly amazes me as to how talented and gifted these long lived human beings were. I really feel for someone who moves into a nursing home or into a low care facility as they know and we know that it is near to reaching the official 'ending' of their adventure of life. I say adventure because to me, every opportunity missed comes a new opportunity. A blessing, something new to explore and trial. Yes we sometimes don't like facing troubles in our lives but it is really the next mountain we climb in our journey to reach the top of our life. The peak. The very moment we say 'yes, I did it!' This is the moment that I believe comes near the end of someone's adventure. The moment where everything has been explored and there is now nothing else left to see.
To think that I am caring for 100 year old people who have faced so many difficult times in their life like war, poverty, homelessness and many more troubling times. It is these people and only these people I can truly look up to in amazement and think to myself 'I cannot believe they made this journey through.'
When I look at someone who has lived many years, I see them as someone courageous, adventurous and educated. I don't see them as ancient, old, decrepit or 'aged' I see their heart was strong many years ago and now it is the time to 'rest' after the trials and tribulations of their adventurous lifetime.
A lot of people I have met and shared my new occupation with, feel for me and often say 'oh that has to be a tough job.' which they are correct in some aspect yes, but in my eyes this is my adventure in a way. Probably the biggest part of my career that a lot of people point out to me in discussion, would be death. Yes I am deeply sad when someone under my care passes on, and it is someone who has lives many years of a wonderful yet dark life, but I know and they know that they have come to the ending point of their journey. When someone who has lived many years does have the moment where it is time to say goodbye and farewell, it is to me a special time that needs the most attentive and respectful care you need to provide to this person.
Death is an intimate time between loved ones, friends, family and carers. When I see someone lying in their bed with their eyes lifted to the ceiling or in complete lock to your eyes, I know that this person needs me or just someone to be there. It is very hard to be with this person as much as they need it, as a nurse is extremely busy and pre-occupied with the many other elders of the facility. I find it hard when someone is reaching the end of the journey and they need you there beside them to help them overcome this stress and anxiety.
I have sat with many of my elders when it was their time to leave. I like to hold the person hand with one of my hands underneath and the other on top. The warmth and love that exerts from holding hands is something quite amazing. If you hold hands with someone who cares for you, you feel the warmth from their hands travel to you. It is something special.
As I sit and I can hear the person's last breath coming, I like to tell them how wonderfully I think of them and how much they have been valued to me as someone I could look up to. I know this person is listening. Their eyes may not be fixed on mine but we can hear through touch as well as hearing someone's voice.
I really do love my job, and as many people fear, it is not just all about death or losing someone, it is so much more. Being a carer for people who have lived many years, is exciting, new, difficult at times and you do need to be creative when it comes to dementia.
My first close encounter with Dementia was my second or third day on placement when I observed a carer assisting a lady who could not hear and therefore would shout to get her words out. On this particular day, to me she wasn't happy with the fact that she had to get out of bed in the cold of the morning, get into the bathroom to freshen up and then have clothes quickly put on her. All of these things were overwhelming to her and she would shout and cry at us.
At first hearing her voice startled me quite a bit. I tried to rub her back and comfort her as the other carer assisted to wash her face and what I found was that this lady wasn't really keen on having her face washed. Was is the warmth of the cloth that made her upset? Was it a fear of water that we didn't know about? Was it to do with the staff member she was with? We didn't quite know as to what made her upset because her Dementia had progressed and it was very difficult for her to do so many things at once.
As a carer you have a time regiment to stick to. It becomes very hard when you are faced with Dementia and you must think quick but not too quick as you may upset the person or confuse them. I like dealing with people who develop these creative minds as I am creative too and I can think of fun ways of getting around their situations. Many times I have been told by people with Dementia about how they are late to pick up the children or they have to get back to their home to cook dinner - so why not? let them be in this imaginative world of exciting things. Let them be who they want to be.
My career with Dementia and assisting elders to do everyday things is an adventure that I too must journey and continue to travel. I really admire the people I work for and work with (the carers as well) as everyday is new, exciting and things are never the same.
I say to you that you should take the time and just think about the elders around you and what they have been through in their life. It is far more that what we have been through too. Just stop a moment and picture yourself back in that time. What would have you thought then would be your reality now?
.-FIN-.
